Not in the sense that I don't like my life or that I'm unhappy,
just in the sense that I'm feeling sad about some of the changes life has brought.
Specifically the people that it has taken out of my life.
The truth of the matter is that I miss people.
People who I don't often see anymore for one reason or another.
Some have moved away.
Others are just on different paths than I am.
It isn't a bad thing that life changes, in fact, I'm usually one of those people that tries to embrace change.
But after so many years of change I am finally realizing how much my heart is aching for those lost friendships.
Because they are people that I really cared about.
People that I still care about.
And I still want them to be in my daily life.
I don't think I will ever say that these friendships are over.
Because I just couldn't give up on people like that.
And because there are no hard feelings towards any of them.
They are just not the same, because we don't often see each other.
I do have newer friendships, that I absolutely love and cherish.
Friendships that are deeper than any I have had in a very long time.
But no one will ever be replaced.
I still have those little holes that their absence leaves in my heart, and that isn't something I want to be filled by any one or anything else.
Now here I am, at the cusp of new changes and new adventures.
Which I am excited about.
But I'm also scared to lose the current people in my life.
I don't want to push anyone away unnecessarily just because I am overwhelmed with life.
None of this is necessarily a bad thing.
And the last thing I am trying to do is be all depressed about my life.
I'm just realizing that one of the facts of life is that it changes.
And sometimes those changes push and pull people in opposite directions.
It's a sad experience, but it happens.
I accept the change.
But for now I am just missing some people who have been amazing friends to me at one time or another.
People who I will always have room in my heart and life for.