Sunday, July 26, 2015

An itch...

It has been quite awhile since I've blogged. So long in fact that I'm not even sure how or where to begin. This post doesn't necessarily mean that I'm back to blogging. It means, I've missed writing. And the strangest part is that I've missed writing for an audience, even if that is only an audience of one or two family members. Every time something happens in my life, big or small, I want to write about it.

After several months of not posting I started to feel like it might be time to close that chapter of my life. To let my domain names expire and officially delete my blog. The primary reason why I haven't deleted it is basically just because it took effort.

There are so many things I don't miss about blogging. Like the pressure I put on myself to make it "successful", to have a lot of followers and dozens of page views every day. And after quitting my job almost 3 years ago, the goal was to try to make some money. It killed writing for me. I felt so anxious about it. When all I really ever wanted was a place to write sometimes and document pictures when and if I felt like posting them. My life became consumed with how good my outfits looked and whether we had a project going on. Every encounter became about how I could turn this into a compelling blog post. Once I got too busy for my blog I realized how silly and petty all of that was. I started to live my life based on what I enjoy and not based on what would make the best posts. After I stepped away I saw that shift from people reading blogs to people reading instagram feeds. I aaw all the comments about how they are annoyed when their favorite bloggers became advertisers in order to make a living from their blog. I saw bloggers switch from one platform to another to maintain their following. And I didn't miss it.

What I did miss was having a place to write when I have something to say. A place to share the very minimal projects that I still work on. Insta-blogging is not for me. Long winded facebook posts? No thanks. That is where blogging differs. People go to facebook and instagram to zone out, when people click on my blog they want to read what I have to say, and if they get bored, they leave. And what I'm left with is a place where I get to share what I want without being an annoying post they have to scroll past. If people want to read they can, and if they don't they won't.

That is why I have missed this, and that is why this blog still exists. Even with that desire to delete it, there is still some part of me that wants a place to write. And so, I might be back, and I might not. We'll see if I have more things to say.