Sunday, January 29, 2012

Quarter life crisis

I know that people always joke about having a quarter life crisis when they turn 25, but do people actually have those? Like legitimately freak out? Because I think I am.

In just over three months I will be turning 25, and it would be safe to say that I am freaking out quite a bit a little. I know, I know 25 isn't very old. I don't think I am going to be an old hag. I just always felt like 25 was such a milestone. Like I would be all grown up and my life would be figured out. I thought I would be ready to settle down and have babies.

But I'm not.

For the third time in my life, I am trying to go back to school. I've finally, finally decided to go after some of the dreams I've always wanted to pursue. Yet, I suddenly feel like it is too late. I'm too old. It's going to take, at the very least, 2-3 years to get my bachelors degree, and then what if I decide to go to graduate school? Or what if I have to go to graduate school just to get a job in the field I want. I could be 30 by the time I'm done with all my schooling, and then I will need to actually spend time working. I can't just waste all that time and money going to school and then never do anything with my degree.

What about having a family? Am I still going to have time for that? Am I going to regret wasting all that time and money and then decide that I just want to be a stay at home mom? Or, if I decided not to go to school, am I going to regret not taking a chance and pursuing something that I love? Have I gotten to the point where it is too late? Am I wasting my time here?

This all hit me the other day when my 19 year old co-worker (who is planning on going to the same school I am next year) thought it would be a good idea to tell me that they have adult programs for people like me. Adults who are going back to school. Ummm, excuse me? People like me! I'm only 24! When did I become an old person?! When did I become too old to be considered a regular college student?! I know he was just trying to help. And I know he felt bad when I started freaking out. It never really hit me until someone who I didn't consider that much younger than me called me old. Me? Old? When did this happen?

All I can say is Thank GOD for my husband. Thank you God that you brought him to me. I. Love. Him. He isn't perfect. He screws up. He never quite says the right thing at the right time, but this time he did. He has been writing me love letters every day all week, and I got this one yesterday:

"Dear Tanya,
I decided to type this note to you today, in hopes that you might be able to read it a little easier. To make it more like me, I wanted to find a font that was more like my hand writing, but they don’t have illegible chicken-scratch.... 
I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for knowing what you want and going after it. So many people get stuck in jobs that they hate, just so they can make money, but for you that isn’t good enough. I love that about you, I love your tenacity to go after what you want and to not settle for second best. That’s one of the things that I have loved about you from the beginning. Your greatest love isn’t money, and you would easily and quickly give it up for happiness. While this seems like it is obvious, and a no-brainer, it is not common. So many people complain that they cannot quit their jobs or that they cannot do what they really want to do, but they don’t do anything about it. You are different. You are willing to step out of whats comfortable and pursue your dreams. That is exactly the kind of woman I know you are and one of the very things I love most about you. Even when I have gotten caught up with money and comfort, you have been there to straighten me out and remind me what is really important. Each other, and God, and happiness. You have helped teach me (whether intentionally or not) that being happy is a choice, not just something that happens.  
You work so hard to give us time together, and to make sure we are connecting. I appreciate that sooo much. That is something that I have lacked in throughout out marriage, and something that I am working on changing. I want the focus of our lives to be on being happy together, and doing good for others, not on making money and having a bunch of things. Thank you so much for being who you are and helping me remember what is important in life. You are an inspiration to me and I value you above all else. I long to show you that I prove that to you. I will pursue you as you pursue your dreams.  
Your’s in Love, 
Your Husband."
The bold part is what got me. I started bawling. I told him how I had been feeling like maybe it was too late. He comforted me and reminded me why I decided to go back to school. He reminded me that we've prayed a lot, and how it feels like God is behind it. He said that we can have kids later in life and that that is ok. A lot of people have kids in their 30's.

Maybe we will be one of those couples.

I don't know what is going to happen, all I know is that I can't give up just because I didn't have the motivation when I was younger. I know that I want out of this rut of doing things that I don't love, and even if it takes all I've got, I'll dig myself out.

I found this picture on pinterest and I thought it was really fitting for this post. Ironically enough when I went to find the source for this picture the caption was, "A positive take on a quarter-life crisis?"

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Night off

I'm takin the night off from serious thinking and have decided to spend some much needed quality time with my husband. I'll see you guys tomorrow!

Love letter he put in my lunch yesterday, and I got one today too :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Ana White

(Couldn't get button to work correctly. Please click on the link above.)

So you know all those building projects we have done? Like our dinning room table (found here, here, and here) and the one we made for our friends? And our entry way table? Those were all inspired by this amazing and talented furniture designer, Ana White. I really hope most of you have heard of her already, and if you haven't her blog is a must read. She comes up with amazing designs for all kinds of things and posts plans on how to make them. Our first table was inspired by her Farmhouse Table design. After those projects, we just tweaked it to make all of our other tables. 

Just from our little experience with all these tables we have learned new skills and because of that we've been able to design projects of our own (some to be posted in the nearish future). We still reference her site from time to time to figure out how to do a certain technique, or for more complicated plans that we can't figure out on our own. 

For anyone interested in building your own furniture, if you haven't already, please check out her site. It will give you lots of amazing ideas and the motivation you need to get to work. And, she makes it all look so easy. (Warning: sometimes projects are more frustrating that it may seem, but always always worth the effort.)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Sometimes life.

via This Kind of Love
Sometimes life has a way of sucking the air out of your lungs. 
Sometimes it isn't pleasant, it isn't fun, and it isn't everything you always dreamed it would be. 
Sometimes it takes all that you have to pull yourself from one moment to the next.
Sometimes you look back and realize that somehow you thought things would be easier.
That you wouldn't have the struggles.
Or the heartaches.
That your life would be different than the others.
That you were immune from it all.
Immune from life,
And all the pain that it brings with it.

And after awhile, 
You pick yourself up,
And dust yourself off,
And realize that you can still go on living.
That there is still life out there.
That things could always have been worse.
And then you thank God
For his Grace.
His Hope.
His Love.
His Perseverance.
His Patients.
His Kindness.
And His Forgiveness.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

He has a Heart for Music

I'm really beginning to love Sundays. I suppose I've always loved Sundays, but lately I have been getting to spend the afternoon to myself while Alex (my husband) has been recording some clients. So I get to sit here, relax, listen to the sound of the rain and the same guitar riffs over and over again. And you know what? It doesn't get old. For one, I know he is doing something that he loves, and that brings me so much joy. Secondly, I get some me time, and these days I don't get a lot of that.

Alex has been trying to start up a recording studio for a few years now. Over the last couple of months things kind of just came together for him. He has been learning and studying this stuff on his own (at least more seriously) for the past three years. Before that he ran the sound booth at the church we were going to, and he has always had a really good ear for making everything sound good and well "mixed".

Alex and Jordan
What I really wanted to share about is his heart for the whole thing. For those that don't know my husband (or at least not as well as I do), he is such a genuine guy and truly has such good motives in whatever he does. Never trying to manipulate people or do anything out of selfishness. Of course he is human, and has his selfish desires at times, but he is quick to see his errors and correct his attitude or behavior. And, he has the same attitude towards his studio. He never wants to take advantage of anyone or force them to work with him if they have a better option, or just one that suits them better. For me, the most amazing thing has been to see the values that him and his studio partner, Jordan, have set in place for their studio. All they really want is to get albums that sound exactly like the clients want them to, and if they aren't happy with the results, they will keep tweaking things until it is perfect. This seems pretty basic, but from the little I have seen being exposed to the music scene, that isn't something everyone is offering (even though they may say it is).

To anyone who is interested to know what I am talking about I will explain a little more, but if you don't care you can just skip this paragraph:
To put it simply, everyone likes certain genres of music or styles of music. Even if you don't know it you might even like one style of recording better than another. I know that some people say they like everything, but they probably still have an ear for certain things. Some things can sound similar but still be in different genres. For example there are many different types of pop music, like country pop, indie pop, pop rock, christian pop. They are all vastly different but they have the same types of instrument sounds that make them distinct from other styles of music. Anyways, when you do recordings you have to be completely unbiased, and if you aren't it can affect the way the album or song turns out. If an engineer isn't listening to what the artist wants their song to sound like, they can just do a bunch of editing to make it sound like something they would listen to. It is sad, and I have heard of some record labels manipulating bands into recording with them because they offer them equipment, gigs, and money. Sometimes the end result can be devastating for the band, and if they don't want to do what the record label says they have to completely abandon their band name and all the songs that they have worked so hard to write and start from scratch (because they sign all their rights over to the record label.
It is hard enough to start a band, get a following, without people trying to manipulate you.

I'm not writing this to promote my husbands business, he can do that on his own, way better than I can. It is just cool watching them try to do something different, like actually having morals and values be the backbone of their business. I know there are other studios out their like this and those make me happy too. I'm not a huge part of the music scene, other than enjoying listening to it, so it has been cool to see what bands go through to pursue something they enjoy so much. Usually they still end up having to work, just like the rest of us. But, sometimes they make it big, and thats a really cool thing to witness. :)

By the way, the band they are currently recording is Foxtrot, you can check out their facebook page. My husbands studio page is Audio Lab and their band The Beardsmen has some samples of the recordings they've done together. Feel free to check them all out.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Bye Bye Gray Hairs

You read that right... GRAY hairs! I am only 24 for crying out loud. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until your 30-40's. Somewhere down the line, I got the lovely gene of going gray early. And I'm talkin early! Like middle school early. I do have friends who can testify to spending 10-15 minutes in the bathroom with me pulling out my gray hairs between the ages of twelve to fifteen. Lucky me.

For those that don't believe me (because I get a lot of those) I took some pictures for evidence.

Today I went and got them all colored. :)



A little darker and richer color. While we were at it I had my husband practice his photography skills and take some shots of my outfit. I was pleasantly surprised, he did a pretty good job. 

He told me to make my mirror face. Does anyone else have one of these? Every time Alex watches me put on my make up he makes fun of me because I purse my lips. I never noticed before.

 Most of his pictures did turn out good, aside from the following.

 "Really? You're taking a picture in front of the utility meters?"

That is him capturing me being attacked by a fly. Exactly what I wanted pictures of. Haha, Thanks babe.

Goals for 2012

I wanted to write this post awhile ago... Like closer to New Years. Oh well, better late than never. I just wanted to share some of my goals for 2012. It is probably best that I waited awhile to share because I have been changing and tweaking my goals a little here and there since I have been thinking about it more and more. This is more a list of values that I want to focus on for my whole life, not just 2012.

Well here they are:

1. Focus on me.  By this I mean getting back to basics, doing the things I love, leaving behind the things I don't, and doing what I want and not letting other peoples' judgments affect and change my decisions.

2. Take care of my body. Be more aware of what I am putting on my body, in my body, and how I'm using my body. I want to do what is best for my body to keep it healthy and strong. How I use it and what I put in and on it are so important to keeping it as healthy as it can be.

3. Spend more time with my husband. We already spend a lot of time together, but I want quality time! Like eating dinner at the table talking instead of sitting in front of the TV. Or paying attention to him instead of reading facebook or *ahem* reading blogs. He really is the most important person in my life, and he deserves all the attention I have to give.

4. Run. Vague? Well... not really. I love to run. Alex and I ran a 5k last summer it was really awesome (highly recommend signing up for one if you are lacking motivation). The real goal is to run some more races. To keep my self realistic I am going to say that my goal is to run a 10k by the end of summer (since this winter has really destroyed my running routine). My unrealistic goal is to run a half marathon, which has actually been my goal for this coming summer for awhile now.

5. Blog more. Until sometime last month I was kind of a crappy blogger. I pretty much posted like once or twice a month, sometimes even once every 2-4 months. I read somewhere that you should try to post every day. Not just to get a blog following but because it actually makes you a better writer since you are practicing every day. So... Here we go, I'm gonna try to do one every day, or at least almost everyday. That is a pretty hefty goal with my track record, can anyone help me out with this? Tips, encouragement, words of wisdom. I'm open to any and all suggestions. Also along with writing more blogs I want to do more link parties and have picked a few that I am going to try to link up to every week.

6. Learn more about photography. Or just take some decent pictures. I've been using my iPhone lately instead of my camera, because it is just always there. I don't mind using it, I actually think it would be fun to get some accessories for it. (My husband got me some new lenses for my iPhone for Christmas). Really, I'm working on it. My biggest problem is lighting because I usually take pictures at night due to working hours. That will be changing soon though, so I will lose that excuse.

7. Do all my homework... ON TIME. I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I am back in school. This is so important to me this time around. I really want to do good, stay motivated, and enjoy what I'm learning.

8. Delete Facebook. This is my last goal. It really ties in with all of my other goals because do you know what I am often caught doing (by my husband, of course) when I should be or want to be doing any of the above things? Reading Facebook. Horrible, I know. I just get so sucked into finding out what people are doing where they are going what they are wearing. UGH. It is bad, and I have really thought hard about deleting it for awhile now. It wasn't until I read a post someone wrote about it that I really felt convicted and decided enough is enough, I just need to bite the bullet and do it... soon. I did delete the app off my phone and this has helped tremendously already. My husband is even noticing a difference. I've kept it mostly just to keep people updated on my blog updates, but I just started a page just dedicated to my blog so people can still follow and I can delete my personal page. If you would like to read the post that really helped me solidify my decision, this is Mary in Marriedland. I just found this blog and I really love the way she writes from the heart. Check out her blog, it is pretty inspiring.

There you have it. My goals. I tried to keep it realistic, but I also need a challenge. This year really feels like it is going to be different than most. I feel change coming, and I'm ready and excited for it.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Yesterday when I came home from work this was waiting for me on my doorstep...

My husband in his slippers to the right.

Yep, I ordered the Ugg boots I wanted!! It is like christmas all over again! They were a little over my budget so I am just going to justify and say, they are an early birthday present and a late Christmas present, and I'm paying for part of them out of my own personal spending money (yeah, we have a budget for that).

Now you know how I've said that I am not a photographer? Well my husband really isn't one, like really really. This is our conversation while he was taking pictures of my boots (a lot of pictures at different angles like he is a professional).

Me: "Umm, babe? What are you doing?"
Alex: "I'm taking pictures"
Me: "Ok... But why are you kneeling down?" 
Alex: "I thought's how photographers did it?"
Me: "Ok. Well if you are going to take pictures on the floor at least make sure nothing ugly is in the background."
Alex: "It's fine. (a few seconds later) Oh wait... this one has a sock in it."

The picture above actually has a different sock in it that he failed to notice also. I think I was stepping on the first sock and it was clearly a focal point in the picture. I suppose it was somewhat my fault, but I wasn't necessarily modeling at this point, mostly just enamored with my shoes, so can you really blame me?

There you have it, my new boots :)
I'm still not totally set on keeping them, they were a little expensive, and I'm not sure I love them enough for the price that they were. We'll see. Maybe I will return them and get an awesome camera so I couldn't take bad pictures even if I wanted to. Or maybe I will get a Ninja (the blender). Or maybe I will wear them and realize that I love them. :)

Also as part of my goals for 2012, which I need to write a post about, one of my goals is to do more link up parties so these are the ones I'm linking up to.

Feel free to link up too! I'm going to try to do this every week.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Somebody that I used to know

A year and a half ago I wrote about not being sure what to do with my life and what direction to take it in. You can read about it here. Long story short, when we got back from Hawaii in November I decided it was time to take action and make a change. I had been contemplating going back to school for awhile, and decided I just needed to do it before it was too late. I suppose it is never too late, but I mean before it became harder because of financial obligations or having kids. So last Monday I started school again, and it actually feels really good to be back. I am only taking one class until next term when I go back to part time at work and full time at school. It is so exciting to be taking a step in the right direction, a step towards what I want to do and away from the rut that we have been stuck in. I am currently finishing up my transfer degree and working on bringing up my GPA and next fall I am hoping to transfer to a university to study nutrition.  Everything is sort of falling into place perfectly, which gives us so much peace about our decision.

Anyways, now that I got that out of the way, I really just wrote this post to show off this really cool music video. Some of our friends just introduced us to the band Gotye, an Australian indie pop band and I'm rather impressed. I am studying and listening to their pandora station, which could be the best station I have found yet. So just to pass on the favor here is their music video that they showed us. I'm becoming kind of obsessed with this song, Somebody that I used to know by Gotye.

You're welcome.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

iPhone Photography

So I know that the pictures I post usually suck because, lets face it, I'm not a photographer. But For Christmas my husband got me something pretty awesome, lenses for my iphone. :)
These were actually on my wish list on pinterest and my husband tracked them down and ordered them for me. Awesome. They are a lot cheaper than buying a new camera, and I don't want to waste money on another camera unless it is an awesome one. Here are a few of my pictures I thought turned out pretty cool.
Hand stamped candles, Macro lens

Husband's eye, Macro lens

Hand stamped candles I made for presents, Macro lens

Profile of my husbands eye, Macro lens

Name tag for my sister-in-law's present, Macro lens

Lemon sugar scrub I made for one of my presents, Wide angle lens

Sewing Machine Macro lens

Sister-in-law's present, Macro lens
These are all unedited, so I think they turned out pretty good, considering I'm not a photographer, and I was using my iphone. Obviously the Macro lens is my favorite, I will need to play around with them a little more and see what results I can get from my telephoto and wide angle lenses. Maybe now I can take some pictures that are actually decent to look at... We'll see.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Post-Christmas, Christmas present?

Oh man, I am so behind on blogs that I've wanted to write and haven't had the time or the energy to do so.  All I can say is, thank goodness Christmas is over. I loved it, but it was by far the most stressful Christmas I have ever experienced. I am still behind on a couple presents that I need to (re)make/fix.

I'm just going to post a short little blog today about these amazing boots that I can't get off my mind...
UGG Channing boot in chestnut
I want them! I've been looking for the perfect pair of riding style boots for a long time, and I think these are them. They are on sale from $295 for $199.90... not sure I can spend that much. My husband did say he was going to take me shopping for boots for Christmas (which he did and I couldn't find any pairs that I liked, thus why I am looking at boots I can't afford online right now). Early birthday/ late Christmas present maybe?