Dresser, Before & After

So this weekend we took some time to paint this dresser that we got about two years ago. It was a craigslist find. Lovely reddish brown with ugly handles.

Before:

Broken drawers.

After:

New porcelain knobs and silver pulls

These next pictures are a little shameful... Don't judge me.

We have ugly carpet :(. We are renting so we have an excuse. I hate showing pictures of our rooms simply because of the carpet. The downstairs has nice carpet, the upstairs however does not. We almost didn't want to move in just because of the carpet (it was installed after we had agreed to move in). If my landlord happens to see this: I'm sorry! We just aren't brown carpet people and it makes it very hard to decorate.

We tried to cover up with a few rugs, but they are expensive and never big enough. We might buy another one of these from Ikea just so it covers a good portion of the room.

We made these crates and I had them on the wall, but I took it down to use it on top of the dresser. put some books, a ball jar and an old picture I took in high school for a photography class. This is my old dog Tilly. She was such a good dog. She passed away a few years ago. RIP Tilly.

Mine and Bret's (our cat) view from the bed. Much better and more complete. Eventually I will have a whole before and after of our entire room. Once it is finished of course.

Enjoy the rest of your week!

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Searching for Peace

(Warning: this post is a little all over the place. I guess that is what you get when you start getting emotional about what you are writing.)

Lately I have been having a hard time. Ok, so maybe "lately" is a little bit of an understatement. It's been going on for awhile. Back in October... of 2010 (yeah it's been that long... and longer), I wrote about some panic attacks that I had been having. You can read my post titled, Today I simply write about life... which talks a little bit about how I had been having panic attacks and I didn't know why. Anyways, so this has sort of been an on going problem. I know, I should have and should still see a counselor, I'm just so terrified of being put on anti-depressants or anti-anxiety pills that it just doesn't feel worth it.

Over time I've really been able to pin point the crux of my fears. Basically I just have this crazy irrational fear of losing control of my own actions, physically mentally and emotionally. Which makes sense if you think about it. Panic attacks usually stem from a feeling of losing of control over yourself or your surroundings. Just for a brief update (because I wasn't really planning on writing about this) I don't have many panic attacks anymore. They used to happen very frequently, but now they are rare, but still frustrating at the random times they do come up. This is a huge reason why I decided to go back to part-time, because I felt the stress building up again, and I needed to take a step back and re-evaluate where I'm at and spend some time refocusing my life. 

Last night while Alex and I were praying, I was reminded of a very important revelation. I basically spend all this time living in fear and judging myself for having anxiety, which really does me no good. And the more I judge myself the more judgmental I become of other people. It is a very ugly cycle.

I've been in this terrible funk for the past few months of being negative and judgmental. This has happened before, I seem to go through this every once in awhile. And to cope with it I try to spend more time focusing on me, which I'm realizing just makes everything worse. Isn't there a verse in the Bible about being too introspective? I'm pretty sure there is, but I don't know where it is.

After this revelation I realized that what I really need to do is to stop focusing on myself. Yes, I have a lot of stress. Yes, I need to relax. No, I do not need to spend my day sitting on the couch thinking of everything that I have done wrong, do wrong, and think wrong to make myself better. I need to stop being so self centered. I need to start being thankful for what I've been given in this life. I need to start trying to see people the way God sees them, regardless of how much they may annoy me. 

When I put other people down (in my head or out loud) all I'm really doing is trying to make myself feel better about myself. But it doesn't work that way. I need to keep my mouth shut when I feel like someone is bugging me, and I need to stop being so darn judgmental of everyone and everything. Above anything else I think that this is what is going to bring me the most peace.

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Thanks for reading. I hope I'm not alone in my journey.

Weekend Recap

So, today is my first day starting my 20 hour schedule. I might get a little spoiled having all the time to do whatever I want! But I think it will be good for me. 

Alex has been recording the last few Sundays, so I asked him to take this Sunday off because I wanted to be able to spend the whole weekend together. Especially since my new schedule requires a lot more Saturday shifts. 

Our weekend started with some sleeping in... Mostly on Alex's part.

When he woke up and asked me why I was taking pictures of him, I told him I was just "documenting our weekend", which of course meant "I'm going to post this in a blog later".  He may or may not have been thrilled about that.

Then we got up and headed to Corvallis, which is 45 minutes south west of us.

We are most likely moving there so I can go to school, and we are considering buying a house. There are no definite plans, and we probably can't find anything in our price range. The problem with Corvallis is that it is a college town and we could get a way bigger/better house if we buy rather than rent, because rent is so high there. Plus, since it is a college town, it would be easy to rent out if we decide we want to move. But this place was not our future home.

It looked really cute in all of the pictures posted online, but when we got there, we realized that they had taken all the pictures with a wide angle lens and everything looked way bigger than it actually was. plus they left out pictures of the horrible job they did remodling. I'm not even going to bother posting the pictures I took. It was a dud.

Luckily on the way home, we drove past this beautiful field, and decided to be spontaneous and stop for pictures. So it wasn't a complete waste of a drive.

Then on Sunday we spent most of the day running back and forth to Lowe's to get stuff for a couple of dressers that we are painting. But I'll save those pictures for later. ;)

I hope everyone has a great week!

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Snow day

Woke up to snow this morning...

Guess spring isn't coming early after all. But, it was a good chance for me to have some fun with my camera. 

Happy March 1st everyone!

Daydreaming...

Instead of doing homework right now (or doing any actual cleaning) I am daydreaming about what my life could be like in a few short weeks. It looks a little something like this...

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eclectic home office design by other metros media and blogs Michelle Hinckley

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Free printable storage labels.

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The theme here being, organized. I just read a little post by Feng Shui and Beyond about clutter control, and how you actually sleep better when the clutter is gone. I believe it. Can't wait to de-clutter my life. Soon... so soon. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

25 things...

Participating in 25 things linky party over at Perfectly Imperfect.

1. My cat is whining at me right now. He is spoiled and has to be on my lap at all times.

3. My cats are like my children.

4. Apparently I am the crazy cat lady.

5. My favorite thing about my bangs is that they cover my eyebrows and hide my laziness about keeping them trimmed and plucked.

6. We have lived in our house for a year and most of our walls are still bare.

7. I'm getting my first DSLR tomorrow.

8. I'm afraid my pictures will still suck, but I'm sure I will learn eventually.

9. I have road rage.

10. Probably caused by running late for work every morning.

11. Thank goodness my manager always is too.

12. I worked at Starbucks for 5 years. Ironically I can't drink coffee anymore, or caffeine in general.

13. Really wish I could have a glass today.

14. I'm afraid of being one of those annoying customers asks "are you sure that is decaf?" 5 times, so I don't even bother with ordering anything.

15. Plus decaf has too much caffeine for me.

16. Sad, but true.

17. We have been married for over two years and are just getting our first queen size bed on Saturday.

18. Why on earth did we wait so long?

19. Thank goodness for tax returns.

20. On the list of things I need: new work shoes. Walked out to the mail boxes on my lunch break, came back with a puddle in my shoe.

21. I hate spending money on work clothes/shoes.

22. When Alex and I got back from Hawaii, I almost cried...

23. Sometimes I still want to cry.

24. Really really wish my neighbor would give up on his dream of being a drummer. For real. At least keep a consistant beat. You're giving me a headache.

25. Is it Friday yet? I'm ready for the weekend.

Dear Ikea,

You get me into so much trouble.


-Love Me

Getting ready.

Have some exciting (at least for me) posts coming up soon about all our recent purchases. Making some good progress on home decor this week.