If you met me.

If you are a regular reader you should hop on over to Bonnie's blog to see all about why I should be America's next top model.

If you are here from Life of Bon, I just want to say, welcome! 

I'm so honored to have anyone here who reads Bonnie's blog because I think she is probably one of the funniest, most awesome bloggers out there!

Anyways, I thought it appropriate to write about myself today.

First, because I usually do that.

Second, because some of you might be wondering who the heck this Tanya girl is.

I should probably tell you that I am not always the funny blogger.

I wish I could be more like Bonnie or Erin from LIY and just whip up some hilarious post out of my... off the top of my head, but that just doesn't happen to me all that often.

So I usually stick to what is natural, which is just being honest and true to myself.

So here is what I want to write about today... my true self.

The girl that you would meet in person.

Because I might be different than the girl you might be expecting.

The first thing you would notice is that I am extremely monotone. Ok, I don't know how extreme it is because I don't feel like I am, but I get told that I am all the time.

I don't express emotion very well, I'm pretty even keel. People usually make fun of me when I get excited about things because it is more like, "I'm so excited." No capitals, no exclamation marks. I get about as excited as Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. The very depressing donkey. This is not because I'm depressed, it's because I'm just not an expressive person.

Actually, sometimes I do express a lot of emotion, because I just start crying. Happy? Cry. Sad? Cry. Mad? Cry. Angry? Cry. Excited? Cry. Watching a commercial? Bawling my eyes out! This really happens people, my husband just read this and laughed and said, "Yep, sounds about right."

You might perceive me as shy, but really I like to think of it more as awkward. When I don't know what to say, I just don't say anything. And at work, when I am forced to talk to people all day, I end up saying a lot of awkward things. How do you have a good 30 second conversation with a perfect stranger? I haven't figured that out yet.

I wish I could be on Dancing With the Stars... I pretty much talk about it all the time, even on my blog. That requires either being a star or an amazing dancer... I'm working on it.

I might be one of the most fickle people you ever meet. I'm not sure if it is possible for me to change my mind more often than I already do.

I'm really dramatic. I'm sure you are wondering how dramatic a monotone person who expresses no emotions can really be? I don't get it either, but trust me it happens.

Along the lines of being dramatic, I am probably a hypochondriac. I try my best to be rational about things, but once I hear about some crazy disease I swear I have all of the symptoms. Those online symptom checker things are probably the worst invention ever. Oh, you have a headache? You probably have cancer. Runny nose? Definitely cancerous, see your doctor immediately! A normal person would think this is ridiculous and move on with their life, but I think I'm going to die!!! And have about a million panic attacks.

I am extremely impatient. When I get an idea in my head, I want to see it happen immediately! Like yesterday, I decided I want to have a desk in my living room for doing my homework on when school starts... so we went out and made a new desk. I couldn't wait for next weekend when we have a billion more hours to spend on it. Nope, I wanted it now.
(which is something I will be posting about soon!)

I just asked my husband what someone might learn about me if they met me in person, and the first thing he thought of is that I'm short. Thanks babe. But it's true, I am short, if you can't tell from my pictures. I am a whopping 5'1".  I'm telling you this now because if I meet you and you said "Wow, you're really short." I might punch you.

This one is important. I don't often laugh out loud. If I ever say "LOL" it is probably highly inaccurate. Even when I think something is extremely funny. Don't be offended if I just smile. The only way my husband can get me rolling in laughter is if he makes fun of something I do. Which, apparently, I find hilarious.

I guess if you guys stick around you will learn that I am pretty "all over the place", but that's ok with me.
I write about a wide range of things from what I did, to where I went, to what I made for dinner and what furniture I built. And then when I run out of things to talk about there is always my husband and my cats.

Maybe I will get to meet some of you in person some day! 

Hopefully you will be accepting of me staring at you awkwardly and cracking a slight smile at your jokes. 

I promise that in my head I am probably thinking about how awesome you are.

Eventually I'll loosen up.

I hope.

If you really knew me...

Alright... I'm giving in to blogging peer pressure and doing one of these posts.

Ok, no one is forcing me, but I am still going to do it.

I give credit back to Traffic Jelly for coming up with this genius idea.

If you really knew me, you'd know:

Every time I write the word beautiful I say b-e-a-utiful in my head. Like Jim Carrey says in Bruce Almighty.

I'm Mexican... even though I don't look like it.

I can't stand being cold.

That I am somewhat of a health food freak, but every once in awhile I crave Oreo's and Alex and I will run to the store to buy them.

One of my favorite TV shows is Felicity... which isn't on anymore. In fact, it hasn't been on since I was like 14.

I have to eat breakfast everyday, otherwise by about 9-10 I will most likely pass out.

I am not a clean freak, but I desperately wish that I was.

Clutter stresses me out, and when my house is a mess, instead of just cleaning it, I stress out and do nothing.

I get really frustrated at incompetent people.

And people who think they are entitled to give advice on subjects they know nothing about. (Like single people giving advice to married people, or children-less people giving advice to mothers).

I think that people use the term "photographer" too loosely. Meaning that I would never call myself a photographer, or try to charge people to have me take pictures for them... because in comparison to a real [good] photographer I have a lot to learn.

I'm not perfect and I definitely get insecure about a lot of things.

I've never been in a wedding, except my mom's.

My dad adopted me when I was in middle school... meaning that he is not my biological dad, but he is the only dad that I have ever known.

When I was in high school I wasn't allowed to give blood because I didn't meet the minimum weight requirement.

Not that I wanted to. I pass out almost every time I get my blood drawn.

This last Christmas was the first time I ever had my own Christmas tree, because I thought that it was a stupid tradition... until I saw all the pretty trees on the blogosphere.

I cringe whenever I hear/see anyone biting their nails. It even makes me want to vomit sometimes. [Sorry to you nail biters... like my husband!]

It drives me crazy when people say "Have a good rest of your day" because I know they should be saying "Enjoy the rest of your day".

That's all for now!

My background {to the love story}

So, I know that I said Alex was going to share our love story, but before he continues I think I need to give you a little more background to why I wasn't ready to date yet.

You see, a year before I met Alex, I had gone through an ugly breakup with my very first "long term" (a year and a half) boyfriend which left me in a rough place. I was 19, just finishing my freshman year in college and not really sure how to survive in the real world. Very soon after this breakup I decided to write a list of all the traits that I wanted in a future husband, and then I made a second list of all the traits that I needed to have to attract the kind of guy I was looking for.

After that, I thought I wouldn't want to date anyone for a long while. And then something strange happened. I found that, for the very first time in my life, guys were actually interested in me. I would see a guy I thought was cute, and they would actually ask for my number! This was so new and exciting to me that I decided, not to swear off dating but to view it much more casually. I had been hurt pretty bad and I was {or at least thought I was} ready to just have fun, and not be tied down to one particular person.

I honestly felt like a whole new person. In high school I was never, ever, the kid that went out to parties. I was the kid that didn't know that high schoolers actually had parties, I thought it was a myth. I still find myself shocked when younger people tell me the kind of stuff that goes on in high school, and even in middle school! I wouldn't necessarily say I was "sheltered", I like call it "oblivious".  


Anyways, lets just say I hit my "partying" stage in life. I was finally the social butterfly that I always wanted to be. I made tons of friends, we had parties all the time. And yes, there was definitely alcohol involved. I'm not going to lie, it was actually a lot of fun and do value that year of life that I had.

The only thing I would take back are the relationships with guys that I had that year. I did casually date a lot of guys, some because they didn't want a serious relationship, some because I wasn't ready to have one, and couple because neither of us were looking for a relationship. Which, in some ways, I don't really see much of a problem with. It was more the way in which I went about it. I had decided that I wanted to be like a guy, and not feel any emotional attachment to guys. However, I think it just left me feeling even more broken and even a bit used. And lets face it, I'm not a guy! I have so many emotions that most of the time they just come spilling out of me uncontrollably.

I wanted some sort of companionship, but I wasn't quite ready to jump in head first. I was skeptical about ever dating anyone again, but I also had a tremendous void in my life that I wanted desperately to fill. I grew to believe that there was something massively wrong with me. That I was incapable of having a true healthy relationship. I was doomed to always be who I was in my past relationships. Looking back I can see that, of course I was immature and stupid in relationships, I was 18/19!



The last relationship I had was the summer before I met Alex. He was a very devout Christian, and honestly looking back I think that was the only thing that interested me in him. After the crazy year I had, I was intrigued by his love for God, and somewhere along the way I knew that I had misplaced that. When that relationship ended, I was confused but I still knew that no matter what guy came in or out of my life, that I needed God.

Some of my friends didn't really understand this "new" {to them} person I had become and I did lose a lot of friends. Or rather, we just didn't have as much in common as we thought, and many of us went our separate ways. I didn't want to go to parties, I didn't want to be around alcohol, I just wanted to find out who I was.

Thus, I somehow miraculously found myself attending a discipleship school in a local church, with only a couple people that I had barely known. Which is where Alex's story begins.

****************************************************************************************

In case you missed it check out part 1 of our love story written by my husband!

Linking up with:

This is me, a big fat nerd

I've been working on editing my about me section lately. After some thought I decided I wanted to make it an actual post because, let's face it, not everyone reads that section. I wanted to take some time to do a proper introduction, especially because I've got some brand new followers out there.

(To the newbies, Welcome! I'm so flattered that people are actually reading my babble!)

First of all... I am a complete nerd. I am not even going to try to pretend it isn't true.

I pretty much had no (or a very limited supply of) friends when I was younger.

Not looking for pity, just being real. I was so so not the popular girl in school.

But I didn't really mind too much, because the friends I did have were real. (Ok... Honestly I may have minded at the time, but looking back I am beyond thankful that I was friends with the nerdier crowd. Friends, don't be offended, you know it is true.)

We weren't obsessed with how big our boobs were (highly important issues as a tween),

or how "fat" each other were.

We didn't care about boys....

Ok... Mom, Dad...

We totally cared about boys.

I know you want to believe that I was "Little Miss Innocent", I do play the part well :],

but I guess I can only speak for myself when I say that, I liked pretty much every boy that said "hi" to me.

(Trust me I totally know you guys never fell for the "innocent" act, but just keep letting me believe I had you fooled, at least until I have kids of my own.)

Anyways, back on topic...

I'm a nerd.

The day my husband and I started dating was during an all day Star Wars marathon he hosted with some of his friends... Pretty sure it doesn't get much nerdier than that.

And he constantly tells me that that is how he knew I was a "keeper".

Because he didn't think he would ever have a chance to be with anyone as nerdy as me.

How sweet right?

??

My 21st birthday. 10 months prior to our first real date. Look at the love in our eyes.

This picture is purely for the sake of letting you know that he doesn't look like that 18 year old in the picture above anymore. Looks change a lot in 4 years huh?

I love my husband. Marriage is the best gift I have ever been given.

It amazes me each day when he wakes up next to me and I see the look of utter adoration in his eyes.

For me.

Me? Really?
And he sees the way I look in the morning, and the way I don't clean when I should, and the way I get grumpy when I haven't eaten.
And he still loves me.

The day we got engaged.

Our marriage is far from perfect and I am more than open to share that.
We argue. (Gasp!)
But after everything else, we love each other the way I have never experienced love before.

Ok, more on our gushy love story another time.

(BTW, Does anyone who knows me outside of the blogosphere have pictures of us during the pre-dating stage, particularly a certain party where we got a certain set of bears?... Kind of a necessity for any future love story posts.)

I'm obsessed with my cats.
Mostly only one of them (I know I'm a terrible cat mom).
I'm not even slightly joking when I tell you that 
.every. single. day.
I tell my husband how cute our cats are.


This is Bret. He is the cutest, sweetest, most loving and cuddly cat I have ever met.
How could I not love a little face like this??

This is Jemaine...

He is a little more on the eccentric side. He likes to eat and drink with his paws.
We put his bowl at the table just to see if he would try to eat like a person...
He did.
BTW, I'm not sure if any of you have heard of Flight of the Conchords, but if you have... Yes, they were the inspiration for our cat names.


Flight of the Conchords is amazing. They are an actual musical duo, but they also had a show called "Flight of the Conchords" (Go figure?)
This is one of their amazing songs (purely for comedic purposes).



Also... Random fact, I can't live without my cardigans.
I wear a sweater every day. Sweat shirts are just too bulky. Sweaters are amazing.
No joke.

Anyways, I started this blog a couple of years ago because I love to write. Love to write.

I used to write song lyrics and poems. Most of them were really depressing, due in part to happy poems sounding super cheesy. (I've tried, it's hard.) Some people think blogging is weird, or it is a form of seeking attention, or a way to be fake. Personally, I just like it. I like to share my thoughts and feelings and opinions, on just about everything.

Not everyone will like to read my blog, and that is perfectly fine. I'm not doing this for attention, or even to try to change the world. I'm doing it for me.
Because I like it.
Because I'm inspired by others who also share their hearts.
Because I love being a part of a community that encourages, inspires, motivates, and calls higher those around them.
I would be ecstatic if my blog in any way did any of those things for any person. Even if it was only one person. I know what it is to feel sorrow, shame, and hopelessness.  My only goal is really just to let people know that, despite how they may feel, they truly are not alone. Including me.
I'm not alone, and slowly but surely I am realizing that more and more.

My blog name was originally "Life: The Pursuit of Something more than Ordinary". I changed it because, for one it was a really long name. And two, because I wanted something different.
Although that is still my goal in life, to live a life that is more than just mundane and boring, I also felt like it didn't properly convey what I wanted this blog to be for me. This place here is a space for me to relax. A place for me to find me.

 I wanted to portray a setting that is calm and relaxing and inviting. For me, the picture that comes to mind is me, curled up on the couch with a blanket in a beautiful cottage style home on a farm.
A glass of red wine in hand and a good book on my lap.
Somehow that just speaks to me. And that is what I wanted. I wanted that warm cozy feeling when I curl up on the couch with my lap top and lay all my feelings, hopes, dreams, and frustrations out on the table. I wanted to be able to feel the weight lifted off my shoulders usually felt only after a few hours of letting go.