I knew this was going to happen...

I knew it...
As soon as I decide to commit to some kind of weekly posts, I fail.
(ie: the weekly nutrition posts I said I was going to write, and only wrote for one week.)

eek, sorry guys, I failed. But I'll try to do one next week, because this actually is something that gets me excited about blogging again.

Currently, I am stressing a bit. The term just started and I was piled with all these due dates, deadlines, papers, and projects. On top of that, I just decided (this weekend) to double major, and I officially filed for my second major today. Which is totally exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Luckily I basically have a free year to do something with before my Dietetics program starts, so it shouldn't actually be too hard.

In case you are curious (which I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't), my original major was Nutrition/Dietetics and my second major will be Public Health. I suppose this makes me feel a little bit better about taking a bazillion years off of school, and not graduating until I'm 29! At least I will have 2 bachelors degrees to show for it (God willing).

Now I am off to fill in my planner.
You are welcome to call me a nerd.

Oh right, I still have a blog

Not sure if you can tell but things have been a bit hectic this term. But I've been putting my little planner to good use (if you haven't seen the planner I made yet, I have it up on Level & Lace now). Just wanted you guys to know that I am still around. Just trying to go for a more simplified blog life. 

minimal maintenance = minimal stress 

Literally all I am doing these days is homework and studying and going to class. So I have nothing exciting to share (not that life was really all that exciting before).

Maybe I'll throw in a trip to Vegas this summer. ;)

Anyone want to meet us there?

Keep on keepin' on

I'm taking a break from the bottomless pit that is my homework and studying to tell you guys that I'm still alive. There is such a hard balance that I am trying to find between life, rest, school, and blogging right now. Advice is more than welcome. There are so many of you out there that I truly look up to because you are so consistant with your posts, and yet you live full busy and crazy lives of your own, and somehow one doesn't seem to be effected by the other.

Ok, I don't look up to you just because you write posts all the time. I look up to you because somehow you continue to go from one day to the next living such busy lives and it doesn't seem to limit your ability to keep giving more. Maybe you are tired, maybe you have bad days, but that doesn't stop you from giving all you've got.

I have never been that person. If I'm overwhelmed I tend to drop everything that is on my plate. My list of priorities completely falls apart and I become completely focused on holding my head above water. I've always wanted to be the person that goes into a challenging situation with my head held high and unfazed by the chaos going on around me. The reality is that I go in with a determination, of which may not always be healthy. I go in expecting to be ripped to shreds and intent on hanging on for dear life.

I may be making this all sound a little flowery, but what I am trying to say is that prior to heading into a challenge I always assume that at some point things are going to get so hard that I am just going to give in and give up. Give up either on the task at hand or all the other priorities in my life. Including sleep. Then when things do get a little challenging, everything falls by the wayside, until I am forced to choose between succeeding in what I set out to do or having a life and being happy.

But I don't think it has to be this way.

I have to believe that there can be a happy medium. Between putting as much effort as I need to be successful into my work, and not having my life fall apart in the mean time. There must be some way to do this, because I see so many other people doing it. Without being utterly desperate for a break and without thinking that they may fail if they aren't constantly operating at the end of their rope.

I don't say any of this to make you think that my life is falling apart. At least not yet. I'm actually loving every bit of where I am at in my life. Things have gotten a bit hard at times...

( Like staying up until 1:30am studying before my midterm on monday morning, for which I had to get up for at 6am. There are countless times I considered skipping out on the rest of my classes after that early morning midterm, but somehow I stuck it out for the rest of my classes that day.)

but the benefits from my hard work are very much worth the effort. What I am saying is that, although things could be a lot worse, I am already giving up on some of my other commitments in order to keep myself sain. Such as this blog. And for that I hope you guys will forgive me. I'm trying to strike a balance.

The problem isn't necessarily the time it takes me to write a post, it is the guilt I feel for spending any amount of time away from either my homework/studying or quality time with my husband. And that is the part that I need to balance. Learning to be ok with taking a little bit of time to myself, without having this awful nagging in the back of my mind of all the things I should be doing.

How do you guys learn to take "me" time, without feeling guilty about all your other responsibilities?

Where I've been

This is what I looked like when Alex came home from work yesterday.

It might seem like I am sleeping,

but in reality I am just thinking really hard about my epidemiology paper.

I promise....

It was actually a paper for my public health class about epidemiology, but I just feel like it sounds smarter to say epidemiology paper.

Anyways,

 I know I was MIA all last week, for which I apologize for. School has been kicking my booty. 

Which is great, I wanted a challenge. I just forget that challenges can actually be... challenging.

And since I have nothing good to write about today, I will leave you with these three completely random pictures. The last one is my favorite.

I got that blue dress at a garage sale for a dollar. Yep, $1.

My baby, Bret.

See you later folks! Hopefully I find something good to write about soon.

Which would probably be a little easier if I actually starting thinking of things to write about.

I'm dreaming of chemistry equations...

Yep, dreaming about math and chemistry. It sucks when your homework break/nap consists of dreaming about how to solve the problem you are stuck on.

This is literally my life right now. Buried in chemistry equations. Don't take this as me complaining because this is what I wanted. Not necessarily to be buried in chemistry homework, but to finish my degree and do something that I actually enjoy. To be honest, I actually kind of like chemistry and math and all that other stuff that lots of people hate. I guess this is the perfect path for me because I have lots more science classes to take. Oh goody! (please, that was sarcasm people!)

I know this isn't going to be an easy path. I know that I am going to have to fight my desires to be lazy and sleep in until noon and cuddle with my adorable cats (which is very hard to resist!). But I know that in the end it will all be worth it.

Before I started school I felt like maybe I was too old to pursue a career change. But now that I am there, I know that I still have so much life ahead of me. There are people who wait until they are in their 30's or 40's and suddenly decide they want to be a nurse, and then go to school and their dreams become a reality. I'm not even nearly that age, so what is stopping me? It isn't an unattainable goal. This is something that I can accomplish if I really want to.

Every opportunity has been opened to me, and my job is only to embrace those opportunities and run with them. I'm excited about the challenges ahead of me, because I know that it is going to build character along the way.

I know that I could get discouraged along the way, but I just hope that the people in my life will help me snap out of it. And that does include you guys!

For now I need to sleep, because I have to get up at 5:30 again tomorrow morning. Yikes.

How to have an awesome face, and hair, and life in general.

Shirt & Hat: F21 // Jeans: American Eagle // Boots: Uggs Channing (Nordstroms) // Bag: Gap

Here is my first attempt at showing off some of my new clothes.
I'm not gonna to lie, it was an unsuccessful photo session.
My photographer (ahem, the husband) did not do a very good job.
I scrounged up these two pictures for you guys though.

But you guys aren't wondering about my clothes, are you?
You are wondering how to get great hair like that, right?
And my make up?

Here is what you do...
Spend all day wandering around a school campus,
wearing a shirt that doesn't breath very well (surprisingly),
sweating profusely from every pore on your body.
Then, after you hair is all crazy and frizzy,
pass out on the couch for 3.5 hours.
Wake up, toss a braid in it to minimize the damage.
Throw on a hat.
Smudge the raccoon eyes a little.
And, Voila! Stunning flat crazy hair.
And some radiant skin.

Another great tip?
Be long overdue for an appointment with your hairdresser.
Especially if you are like me and have enough grey hairs to feed a small army.
Wait... I'm not sure that is how that line goes?
Whatev, you know what I meant.

Anyways, on to other topics, like how my day was!
Like I said earlier, I was getting all oriented on the school front.
It went well, I walked like 18 miles, probably lost about 20 pounds, both from sweating and from the actual walking.
I had lunch with my little brother-in-law, who I will be going to school with.
And best of all, I made a friend!
She even waved at me while I was at lunch!
If that doesn't make a girl feel special, I don't know what does.
Ok, she will be my friend if we have a class together.
And if I ever see her again.
She is in the same program as me so we should have at least one class together.
I stepped out of my comfort zone a little and tried actually being nice to people.
It seems like it worked out!
Maybe I should try doing that more often?
We shall see.

Alright, I gotta go be domesticated and make dinner for the husband.
He said something about being starving...
Men! Always hungry.

Peace out ladies!
{I told you, I'm gangsta now because of my new tattoo!}

Dean's list

Lately I have been feeling a bit apprehensive about the coming school year.
Maybe it is because I am quitting my job and I wont have the security of knowing that I have a steady income.
For the first time in 9 years I may not have a job.
I say may not because I am still inquiring about some part time jobs.
Or maybe it is because I am moving on to a real university.
What if the work load is too much for me?
What if I give up again?

Because I have done that.
I was in the third term of my sophomore year of college back when I was still 20.
And then I dropped out.
Because I kept failing my classes and just wasn't motivated to finish.
Plus I got promoted at work and cared more about making money than I did about finishing school.

Sometimes I see people much younger than me going off to universities or graduating college and can't help but feel like some sort of a failure.
Or be regretful for not finishing the first time around.
I had that opportunity and I just didn't appreciate what was right in front of me.

So here I am, consumed with all these fears and emotions and heading back in to college again.
And then I hear the sound of a new incoming email.
It's titled "Academic Recognition", which reads:

Dear Tanya,

 It is our great pleasure to commend you on your recent academic achievement! Your grade point average during spring term of 2012 has earned you a place on the Dean's list.

We know that college is just one facet of your busy life. Our students work full- or part-time jobs, have families, are active in the community, and have numerous competing responsibilities. The fact that you've juggled all these roles and still managed to earn this impressive grade point average is a testament to your dedication and hard work.

Our congratulations on an honor that was earned by just five percent of our students this term.

 Keep up the good work! 

This was exactly what I needed.
I know that to some of you maybe making it on the Dean's list is no big deal, but it means everything to me.
I have the highest GPA that I have ever had in my whole life.
Ever.
And the words that they used in their letter were so true.
I did work my butt off last term.
I really struggled with working, going to school, having a life, keeping my house clean, and on top of everything maintaining a healthy relationship with my husband.
It was hard, and it was worth it.
It paid off.
I feel like it was such a big step for me.
It means that I'm serious about this.
It gave me hope that I can accomplish what I set my mind to.
Because I did!
And I will!

Guess what?

I'm finally done with school!!!!

Ok,ok.... just for the term. This was my little BIL's graduation.

Look how cute they are! Alex and his little brother and sister.

I'm soooo happy to be done! you have no idea what a relief this is (ok... maybe you do). As of last wednesday I had to complete somewhere around 25 assignments, most of which were due by Monday! So you could say I was a little stressed. Thus far I know I have an A and two B's, and I'm just crossing my fingers that my last grade is an A!


Anyways, I'm sure you were all dying to read about my grades and assignments and all that (please note my sarcasm), but lets leave all those troubles behind us!.

Now that I have 50 extra hours on my hands... ok more like 20... here are some topics to come up in the near future:

• Finishing our love story {part 1 & part 2}
• An update on the whole anxiety and counseling issue
• Some craft and building projects {yep! I craft and build things!}

.... I'm drawing a blank on allll the things I have been dying {literally dying!} to blog about. It has taken some serious will power to work on homework rather than write a blog.

In other news: Today is my second blogiversary!!! Yay!!! Although my blogging really never picked up much until this last January, I actually have had a blog for two years now. Man how time flies!

In honor of my blogiversary (is it blogiversary or blogaversary??) I wanted to write about a topic that I had written about in my very first blog, marriage!

But!....

..... I just can't bring myself to think right now.

I'm sorry.
It is beautiful outside.
I'm actually dressed kind of cute... at least more than I have in the last month.
And I want to go shopping. (duh!)
So, I think I will post about that another day. (no promises!)
I have cute clothes to go buy!
And I feel no remorse because I know each and every one of you would do the same!

Since I know all you millions of readers were just dying in anticipation of my blogging return, take this opportunity to read my first blog. Because, if I ever get around to it (which I actually have time for now), I will be posting a second edition of what I have learned about marriage since that day two years ago. Fun, huh?

Ahh, happy to be back! See you guys soon!

Break time.

Ahhh, I have finished all of the homework for one of my classes.

One down.

Three to go.

I have one week left of homework assignments galore and then I'm home free.

Needless to say I'm going to be taking a break from blogging until I am finished with school.

I love you guys, but I need to cut out some extra stress, and I will be the first to admit that blogging is last on my list of priorities.

Real life first, blog life second. 

{I have to remind myself of that from time to time}.

Now that's all cleared up, I'm gonna give my brain a little break from the chaos and catch up on the bachelorette.

See ya ladies in a week {or so}!

Doing "homework"

I've been lacking a little bit of inspiration for my blogs as of late. Every time I think, "I should write a new post," it is followed by, "actually... I should probably work on some homework."

And for those of you that don't know, I'm back in school fulltime again after nearly three years off.

Why didn't anyone remind me how much work this is?!? I have like 4 assignments due every Monday, and others due throughout the week, and this is only the second week of the term.

On the plus side though! All this homework has giving me the inspiration for my newest project... which is turning out pretty awesome.

Here is how the inspiration came to me...

"I need a planner."

Drives to Office depot

Pick up, flip through, pa ruse through millions of planners

"This one is PERFECT!"

 See price tag

 "W.T.F." (FYI-I don't like to cuss too much but I am addicted to acronyms.) 

"$18.99!! For a few pieces of paper?? I'll just make my own."

Other people may not think that is expensive (Although, I'm not sure how??), but honestly, this was the skinniest little planner that I have ever seen! And I really liked it because it had full calendar pages that were big enough for me to write in. However, I am way too cheap to pay 20 bucks for some paper. So instead we spent 20 bucks buying a new ink cartridge (which we needed for many other printing jobs) and I have set out to make my own planner!

I'm so excited to have a planner that is perfect for me! Not just one of those lame ones that have all this extra junk that I don't need. I'm planning (pun intended) to make some free printables out of this guy incase anyone is interested. I should be done with it by the end of the weekend!

BTW, (See, I told you I'm addicted) I'm supposed to be working on homework right now.

Shhh! Don't tell Alex! ;)

Quarter life crisis

I know that people always joke about having a quarter life crisis when they turn 25, but do people actually have those? Like legitimately freak out? Because I think I am.

In just over three months I will be turning 25, and it would be safe to say that I am freaking out quite a bit a little. I know, I know 25 isn't very old. I don't think I am going to be an old hag. I just always felt like 25 was such a milestone. Like I would be all grown up and my life would be figured out. I thought I would be ready to settle down and have babies.

But I'm not.

For the third time in my life, I am trying to go back to school. I've finally, finally decided to go after some of the dreams I've always wanted to pursue. Yet, I suddenly feel like it is too late. I'm too old. It's going to take, at the very least, 2-3 years to get my bachelors degree, and then what if I decide to go to graduate school? Or what if I have to go to graduate school just to get a job in the field I want. I could be 30 by the time I'm done with all my schooling, and then I will need to actually spend time working. I can't just waste all that time and money going to school and then never do anything with my degree.

What about having a family? Am I still going to have time for that? Am I going to regret wasting all that time and money and then decide that I just want to be a stay at home mom? Or, if I decided not to go to school, am I going to regret not taking a chance and pursuing something that I love? Have I gotten to the point where it is too late? Am I wasting my time here?

This all hit me the other day when my 19 year old co-worker (who is planning on going to the same school I am next year) thought it would be a good idea to tell me that they have adult programs for people like me. Adults who are going back to school. Ummm, excuse me? People like me! I'm only 24! When did I become an old person?! When did I become too old to be considered a regular college student?! I know he was just trying to help. And I know he felt bad when I started freaking out. It never really hit me until someone who I didn't consider that much younger than me called me old. Me? Old? When did this happen?

All I can say is Thank GOD for my husband. Thank you God that you brought him to me. I. Love. Him. He isn't perfect. He screws up. He never quite says the right thing at the right time, but this time he did. He has been writing me love letters every day all week, and I got this one yesterday:

"Dear Tanya,
I decided to type this note to you today, in hopes that you might be able to read it a little easier. To make it more like me, I wanted to find a font that was more like my hand writing, but they don’t have illegible chicken-scratch.... 

I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for knowing what you want and going after it. So many people get stuck in jobs that they hate, just so they can make money, but for you that isn’t good enough. I love that about you, I love your tenacity to go after what you want and to not settle for second best. That’s one of the things that I have loved about you from the beginning. Your greatest love isn’t money, and you would easily and quickly give it up for happiness. While this seems like it is obvious, and a no-brainer, it is not common. So many people complain that they cannot quit their jobs or that they cannot do what they really want to do, but they don’t do anything about it. You are different. You are willing to step out of whats comfortable and pursue your dreams. That is exactly the kind of woman I know you are and one of the very things I love most about you. Even when I have gotten caught up with money and comfort, you have been there to straighten me out and remind me what is really important. Each other, and God, and happiness. You have helped teach me (whether intentionally or not) that being happy is a choice, not just something that happens.  

You work so hard to give us time together, and to make sure we are connecting. I appreciate that sooo much. That is something that I have lacked in throughout out marriage, and something that I am working on changing. I want the focus of our lives to be on being happy together, and doing good for others, not on making money and having a bunch of things. Thank you so much for being who you are and helping me remember what is important in life. You are an inspiration to me and I value you above all else. I long to show you that I prove that to you. I will pursue you as you pursue your dreams.  

Your’s in Love, 

Your Husband."

The bold part is what got me. I started bawling. I told him how I had been feeling like maybe it was too late. He comforted me and reminded me why I decided to go back to school. He reminded me that we've prayed a lot, and how it feels like God is behind it. He said that we can have kids later in life and that that is ok. A lot of people have kids in their 30's.

Maybe we will be one of those couples.

I don't know what is going to happen, all I know is that I can't give up just because I didn't have the motivation when I was younger. I know that I want out of this rut of doing things that I don't love, and even if it takes all I've got, I'll dig myself out.

I found this picture on pinterest and I thought it was really fitting for this post. Ironically enough when I went to find the source for this picture the caption was, "A positive take on a quarter-life crisis?"

Source

Somebody that I used to know

A year and a half ago I wrote about not being sure what to do with my life and what direction to take it in. You can read about it here. Long story short, when we got back from Hawaii in November I decided it was time to take action and make a change. I had been contemplating going back to school for awhile, and decided I just needed to do it before it was too late. I suppose it is never too late, but I mean before it became harder because of financial obligations or having kids. So last Monday I started school again, and it actually feels really good to be back. I am only taking one class until next term when I go back to part time at work and full time at school. It is so exciting to be taking a step in the right direction, a step towards what I want to do and away from the rut that we have been stuck in. I am currently finishing up my transfer degree and working on bringing up my GPA and next fall I am hoping to transfer to a university to study nutrition.  Everything is sort of falling into place perfectly, which gives us so much peace about our decision.

Anyways, now that I got that out of the way, I really just wrote this post to show off this really cool music video. Some of our friends just introduced us to the band Gotye, an Australian indie pop band and I'm rather impressed. I am studying and listening to their pandora station, which could be the best station I have found yet. So just to pass on the favor here is their music video that they showed us. I'm becoming kind of obsessed with this song, Somebody that I used to know by Gotye.

You're welcome.